On a lighter note

And you thought Bjork's swan dress was weird. I think this is going to give me nightmares. I'm not even wearing it, and still I feel like that giant hand is going to grab me at any moment.

Jolene writes letters

Dear My Boss:

PLEASE STOP BUGGING ME. I am working on that project and I will LET YOU KNOW when it's done. Leave me the hell alone.

Love,

Jolene

*****

Dear Lady In The Lobby With The Worst Fashion Sense I Have Ever Seen In A Long Time:

Please dress better. You are hurting my eyes.

Love,

Jolene

*****

Dear Lunch Place In My Building:

Please stop sucking so much. You never have anything I want to eat. And you run out of everthing by 1:00 in the afternoon, so you suck even more. Also, when I ask for "a couple" of pickles, it means two, not one.

Love,

Jolene

*****

Dear Govermental Agency I Have To Deal With:

Please stop having so many damn deadlines.

Love,

Jolene

*****

Dear Subway:

PLEASE STOP FUCKING BREAKING DOWN ALL THE TIME WHEN I'M TRYING TO GET TO WORK. I really don't appreciate having to get off the fucking train, and then being told that fucking shuttle buses are coming, except they never fucking show up, and then I have to walk fifteen fucking minutes outside to get to the next fucking stop where the fucking trains aren't broken down anymore, making me late and also all sweaty. And also, I'm sure all the people waiting at the stop where you made us get off the train really appreciated the fact that no one told them the train was broken down, despite the fact that there were about ten transit authority guys milling around doing nothing, AND despite the fact that everyone was already GETTING OFF THE TRAIN. Good work, geniuses. And they wonder why more people don't take the subway.

And now I've been in a fucking bad mood all day and it's all your fucking fault.

Love,

Jolene

BANNED

Recently, we learned about people I don't like. Now we move on to things. Disclaimer: this list is not exhaustive. Please do not assume that just because your favorite hate-object does not appear on this list, that I don't hate it as well. The following things, if I had to power to do so, would be BANNED:

Stargazer lilies.

Dasani "water," otherwise known as "swill."

Country music.

Red onions.

Velour.

Calling all soda "Coke." I'm sorry, but this is possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard. It's also trademark infringement, which I am legally bound to be offended by (and nevermind that I am not using tradmark symbols here. I don't know how to make them in HTML. Yeah, that's what it is. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am too lazy to find out, or that I don't actually really care. Nothing at all). Note: since I know I have several midwestern readers, I will grudgingly give "pop" a pass, but DON'T abuse the privilege, or I will reconsider faster than you can say "east coast soda snob."

Ham.

The word "panties." (Ew, just typing it makes me cringe.)

Tofu.

Mermaid-style dresses.

The "boop-boop" sound Tivo makes.

The smell emanating from the Nut-Roasters carts near my office.

DVDs that won't let you fast-forward through the previews.

All the lunch places near my office. There are about eight-hundred, and nearly all of them suck, and the ones that don't always have two-hour lines.

Computers manufactured by companies not named Apple.

Pens with point sizes larger than fine.

8-oz. coffee mugs (only seen in my office). Seriously, WTF? Who only drinks 8 ounces of coffee at a time?

The phone calls I get from my credit card company, every single month, asking me if I want to sign up for their payment protection plan, or whatever it's called, which is some sort of extortion-style insurance plan that will let you not pay your bill if you ever can't. Listen up, here, Chase. I love my credit card. And I love the fact that you pay me actual cash money to use it. Know how it is that you pay me to use it? Because I PAY MY BALANCE every single month. I haven't carried a balance in five years, and that was only because I moved to a new apartment and started a new job, so I wasn't getting paid for a few extra weeks, and had to buy a whole new wardrobe for said new job, all at the same time. And then I only did it for a few months. Get it? I don't need no payment protection plan. I will never need it. And I tell you this EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU CALL. And yet, you still keep calling, month after month, because you're allowed to do it, because I'm already a customer.

Ugg boots.

Scented laundry detergent.

Snow. For the love of god, please make it stop.

Oscars Post-Mortem

Okay, so as promised, here are my thoughts on the show last night: Eh.

Oh, you want more than that? Fine.

Seriously, it was boring, overall. Like I said, I hadn't seen most of the movies that were nominated, so I didn't have much invested in the awards themselves. Given that, I'm happy Million Dollar Baby won big, because if nothing else, it will torque the right-wing religious nuts, and that is always a good thing. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, you either will have to see the movie, or read a review that spoils it, because I'm not going to do that here.) Still, I doubt I'll ever have much desire to see it myself, because I really, really hate boxing. And yes, I know that's not what it's really about, but I don't care. It's about boxing. And I hate boxing (why is a story for another time).

I enjoyed Chris Rock's opening monologue, although I take issue with his dissing of Jude Law, because Jude is so very, very pretty. Please leave the pretty man alone. Anyway, I don't usually watch the Oscars for the host. To me, Oscars hosts are like film editors and offensive linemen - you should only notice them if they screw up. If you don't notice them, it means they did their job. I think Chris Rock did a fine job.

I hated the new thing where they gave some awards in the audience, and for others, had all the nominees up on stage. Did it really save so much time that it was worth making the "minor" nominees suffer such indignity? There is so much other filler they could have cut out. Or god forbid they should just start the telecast an hour or two earlier, so it doesn't end so late on the East Coast.

Definitely had way too much Beyoncé. I even had a minor medical emergency when my ears started bleeding after hearing her sing in French. So, so wrong.

Unfortunately, I really didn't get to do much of what I like best, which is looking at the outfits. With no cable, I couldn't watch any pre-show coverage, and the bad reception really limited how well I could see the gowns. From what I could see, I absolutely hated Hillary Swank's dress. It looked like it was about to choke her. And I really didn't get Renée Zellweger's dress - she couldn't even walk in it. I was cringing as she tried to walk across the stage. In general, I really hate the "mermaid" style that is obviously so popular now. And her hair - ick. She looks awful with dark hair. As I've said before, I'm not opposed to hair coloring on principle, but it has to look natural. Hers did not. Nor did Scarlett Johansson's or Kirsten Dunst's - both of them were way over-bleached (although Kirsten's almost looked like a wig, which is even worse).

I don't know, that's about it, I guess. I think I've already forgotten 80% of what I was thinking of commenting on. But hey, you get what you pay for here.

Liveblogging...Eh, maybe not

So when I made the big announcement in my last post, I didn't know at the time that they were on ABC. See, I no longer have cable, and my ABC reception sucks. And I think we all know that the real reason I watch the Oscars is to see the outfits. Do you think I really care about the awards? Hell no. I think the only movie I've even seen that's nominated for any of the major awards is Hotel Rwanda. So anyway, the crappy reception will really cut into my ability to see just how ugly the dresses are, and that kind of defeats the purpose of the liveblogging now, doesn't it? Maybe I'll just write something tomorrow, after it's all over. Meh. Sorry for taunting you like that. I know how disappointed you must be.

...Just remembered - I have also seen Sideways. And I'll just say now that it's absolutely tragic that it was nomiated for Best Picture and Hotel Rwanda was not (since I have seen both, I can at least compare them to each other). Hotel Rwanda was amazing, and I want to marry Don Cheadle. Sideways? Eh. It was funny, in a slapsticky kind of way, but nowhere near the level of quality I expect from a Best Picture nominee. I really couldn't stand either of the two main characters, and I'm not into wine, so I couldn't appreciate the wine-porn aspect. Don better win for Best Actor, or I will not be happy. I mean, have you seen some of his other movies, like Traffic or Devil in a Blue Dress? That is a man who can act like nobody's business, people.

It's Oscar time!

In what is now becoming an annual tradition (mostly because I have no imagination, because I have no life, and because I will use any excuse to not do actual work), I will be liveblogging the Oscars telecast. If you are a faithful reader of this blog, you may notice that this is the first year I have actually used the word "liveblogging." That's right, I was liveblogging before there was liveblogging, bitches. Or, at least before I knew what it was called. Whatever.

Disclaimer No. 1: As in years past, I will likely be doing my laundry at the same time I am watching. Since the laundry room is a non-trivial distance from my apartment, this means I will likely be away from the TV for substantial portions of the telecast. With my luck, all the interesting things will happen while I'm not watching. Anyway, please, no angry letters if I miss something.

Disclaimer No. 2: What I write may not be very good. If you're looking for Oscars liveblogging that is actually funny and entertaining, you should probably read the Defamer. If you're looking for the best in Oscars outfit mocking, you should probably read what the Fug Girls have to say. I'm just saying, if my accounts of the evening do not live up to your expectations, don't say I didn't warn you.

Offensive, but not in the way you'd think

Ignoring the whole debate over whether or not you think confederate flag fetishes are justified as celebrations of southern heritage (although I think you can probably tell from what I just said what I myself think), as well as the question of whether this girl should have been allowed to wear the dress (I actually think she should have been), let's get to the real issue here, which is, could there possibly be anything tackier than a confederate flag prom dress?

Hello, Hellooooo.... Is this thing on?

Good lord, it's been so long since I posted on this thing that the entire Blogger interface has completely changed. And I'm missing several months' worth of archives because, well, there wasn't anything to archive. Kind of sad, really. I don't even know what prompted me to post right now, other than I am working on some exceptionally boring stuff at work (I mean, even more boring than usual), and suddenly decided that this was the distraction I needed.

In addition to being bored, I'm in a pissy mood because I have been suffering all day from various wardrobe malfunctions and bad hair.

First, the sweater. The dry cleaner decided that it would be cute to shrink it so that it is now too small (and yet I wore it anyway. I don't know). Normally, my first thought would be, upon finding my clothes too small, that I had just gotten too fat. But here's the thing - I own two of these sweaters. They're identical, except for the color. I brought them to the dry cleaner at the same time, and picked them up at the same time. And the other one didn't shrink. I don't know what they did to it, but they fucking shrunk a cashmere sweater, and that MAKES ME MAD. It's not the first time, either. I have a pair of lined wool pants where they shrunk the pants part but not the lining part, so now the lining sticks out a half-inch from the bottom. The hell? The simple solution would be, of course, to switch to a different dry cleaner, but this one is right near my house, and it's too inconvenient to go to another (I'd have to walk there). Or I just like complaining.

Anyway, moving on. The pants. I was sitting cross-legged in my chair at my desk, and happened to look down and notice that about an inch worth of seam in the crotch of my pants had decided to open itself up to the world. Thankfully I was wearing underwear. Thankfully also you could not really see it as long as I was standing or sitting normally. Seriously, Ann Taylor, whither the quality? I paid a lot of money for these pants, and I haven't worn them very many times. That shit should not happen.

And then the hair. I don't know if it's the weather today, or if the water quality suddenly changed, or what, but my hair is awful today. I can't remember when it's ever been this flat. I normally don't have big hair no matter what I do to it, but this is ridiculous. It's hard to describe if you don't know me, but it's bad, bad hair. Very bad.

In housekeeping news, I'm updating the links to take out some broken ones and add some new ones. I've finally admitted to myself that I do actually read the political blogs, so I'm breaking down and adding them. I still don't want to discuss politics, but now it's more because I'm just too depressed about things. All I'll say is that if the Northeast, Upper Midwest, and West Coast want to secede and form their own new country, or, say, join Canada, I would have an awful hard time being opposed to it.

Long Time, No See, Eh?

I just realized that it's now been over a year since I started this blog. I'm a little sad that I haven't had more time to write in it. Well, like I've probably said before, it's not necessarily a lack of time, but a lack of mental energy. Life has been kicking my ass for a while now, and my brain has been rebelling violently at the the slightest suggestion that it should do any extra work.

Anyway, as much as I keep trying to tell myself that I don't have time to be sitting around watching the Oscars, I just can't deny my desperate need to watch pretty people in fancy dresses. Nevermind that I don't even think I've seen any of the movies in the major categories.

Anyway, like I did last year, I'll make comments when and if I feel like it, updating this post as the night goes on, subject to the fact that I also need to do laundry (at the very least, if I can't have expensive clothes like the stars, I should make sure my ratty garments are still clean).

...I still don't get why so many actresses always wear gowns that don't fit. Don't they get them custom-fitted? Don't people like Scarlett Johansson know that when you wear tight satin, it will show lumps and bumps on even the most emaciated person? And what is with her hair? She looks like she bought a bottle of the cheapest bleach and colored it at home herself. It looks like it's pasted on her head, rather than growing there naturally. I'm not opposed to hair-coloring on principle, but for the love of all that is good and holy, if you can afford to pay someone to do it, it damn well better look good. Sheesh.

...This Billy Bush thing at the beginning, where he's going around talking to people inside the hall before the show starts, is totally obnoxious. I can't believe he actually made Keisha Castle-Hughes leave her seat to go meet Johnny Depp. What an ass.

...I had no idea Sophia Coppola was the first American woman ever nominated for best director. That's pretty amazing - all these years and that's never happened before? Well, I kind of hope she wins just because of that (and I can say that because I haven't seen any of the nominated directors' movies, so I have nothing to judge by other than the fact that it would be cool for her to win).

...LOVE Catherine Zeta-Jones's red dress. If she's not the most beautiful woman on the planet, I don't know who is.

...I love Tim Robbins. His Oscar is just one more reason why I still really want to see Mystic River. Although I'm still peeved that they didn't pick me to be an extra.

...Billy Cristal just ripped on George W. Bush going AWOL. How can you not love that? I really hope there's more where that came from.

...And if any actresses need a lesson on how to wear satin and make it look good, I present Angelina Jolie.

...More hair coloring problems. Julia Roberts looks like she hasn't touched up her roots in a couple of months. And her hairstyle - there's something not right about it. She looks just a little too much like Sarah Jessica Parker (and don't even get me started on her - I am still at a complete loss as to why she's a style icon, given that I've never seen her look anything other than horrible).

...Oprah, you usually always look classy, and I like the color on you, but really, I don't care who you are - no one should be wearing a giant bow on their ass, under any circumstances.

...Why do actresses like Naomi Watts continue to wear dresses so close to their skin colors? I'm sure it looks great in person, but it looks really bad on TV. And I know I said the same thing last year, but it needs to be repeated until it stops happening. It really does. Also, Naomi? That dress needs a necklace. (Okay, so I guess it's too late for this year, but if you need some help next year, you know where to find me.)

...So they had the tribute thing for all the people who died, and they included Leni Riefenstahl, which, first of all, doesn't seem quite right to me. But then they said she was merely a "documentary filmmaker" - or something like that (I may have gotten the wording a little off). I guess the fact that she was a Nazi propagandist didn't warrant a mention. Very, very strage.

...Pierce, baby, you know I'd find you sexy no matter what you did, but could you have maybe shaved? I mean, it's not like this is a televised formal event or anything.

...Uma, if you want to make Ethan regret cheating on you, wearing a dress that looks like a big wad of exploded tissue paper is not the way to do it.

...As much as I do love Tim Robbins, I don't like the black tux/black shirt/black tie look. A little contrast would be nice. Also, Susan Sarandon, you look stunning for your age, but that low dress just makes you look a little too saggy. Also, what's with the one-side-off-the-shoulder thing? It just looks like one side of the dress fell off (Charlize Theron had something similar at the Golden Globes, and I didn't like it then, either). Actually, it kind of looks like the whole dress is about to tall off.

...And hey, Sophia Coppola just won for best director. Good for her. Maybe one day I'll actually see that movie she directed....Oh wait, nevermind, it was for the screenplay. Peter Jackson just won best director. Blech. I'm so sick of this Lord of the Rings movie. Didn't see it, don't want to see it, wish some other movies would win instead.

...I thought there was something funny about Jamie Lee Curtis, and now I know what it is (I stole this from somewhere else - it's not an original thought). She looks like Tim Robbins in drag. She really does.

...I don't like Nicole Kidman's dress. Actually, it'd be okay if the top didn't turn her boobs into a giant shelf. Also, Nicole, have a sandwich once in a while.

...Blech again. I'm not even going to acknowlege the best picture, it annoys me so much.

Well, that was fun, I suppose. Actually, not it wasn't, it was pretty boring. I suppose if I'd actually seen any of the movies, maybe it would have been more interesting. There were some bad dresses, but nothing really, really hideous. There were a few political comments, but not enough for my tastes. I really wanted Bush to get slammed hard. Oh well. Time to go to bed...

Quick change

This morning, while ascending the escalator out of the subway, I oberserved a strange sight. The woman standing in front of me put her purse and notebook down on the steps and started to take off her shoes. I had no idea why she would do such a thing and was all, "What the...?" until I saw her take out a pair of heels from her bag, put them on, put her other shoes back into her bag, and pick everything up in time to step off the top of the escalator without missing a beat. I went from confused contempt to jealous awe in the span of about ten seconds. That woman is my hero.

In other news, my company has hired three women in the last week who have names far more appropriate for strip clubs than the corporate world. I'm not sure what to make of this.

There's no accounting for taste, or a lack thereof

There is a woman at my office who is wearing a hot pink taffeta pantsuit today. This is just so very, very wrong. The scary thing is not only is she wearing this god-awful outfit, but she also presumably paid actual money for it, on purpose. If this happens again, I think we may need to stage an intervention.

Stop the Insanity!

(*Editor's note: The events of this post actually happened over a week ago, but I've been too busy to update the blog, so I'm only posting it now. I'm insane, but not insane enough to wear a long-sleeved sweater in mid-90 degree weather.)

My life is so bizarre (of course I am speaking in relative terms. I know it's not really all that strange, but I live for the small things). Taking the subway home from work today, I recognized the same woman I had seen earlier wearing the sweater that I also own. It was a classic Seinfeld moment. You know - where you see the same person you don't know, again.

But that wasn't the weird part. This time, I was the one wearing the sweater, and she was wearing something else. It kind of freaked me out.

It's official. I've gone insane.

So I'm riding the subway home from work the other day, and this woman gets on, and she's wearing the exact same J. Crew cowl-neck sweater that I also happen to own.

I felt this sudden need to go over and tell her I had the same sweater, as if we somehow shared some sort of bond.

Over a sweater.

It's not like they were even the same color. Mine is blue. Hers was red. And I wasn't even wearing it at the time.

Thankfully, my senses took over and kept me from making a complete jackass of myself by saying anything to her.

*****

Last weekend my friend made me go see The Matrix: Reloaded. It was my own fault, really. There were three movies she wanted to see: Finding Nemo, X-Men 2, and The Matrix. I had no desire to see any of those, since I can't stand either animation or science fiction, but I made the mistake of saying that if I were forced to see one of those three, I'd see The Matrix, because at the very least, there was some minor curiosity over the special effects everyone was talking about.

Somehow, she construed this as an actual agreement to go see the movie with her, and I had no real way of getting out of it, especially since she had some free passes, and I wouldn't have to pay for it. Even after she explained the plot of the original Matrix to me, I left Reloaded wondering what the hell was going on, and, more importantly, what the hell the big deal was.

So yesterday, I rented the original, so that maybe it would all fit together, and I could better understand what was going on. I didn't. They are just two fucking stupid movies with some snazzy special effects. Blah. Whatever. Special effects do nothing for me if they are just trying to cover up the fact that there is either no plot, or a really lame one. And yeah, Keanu is certainly prime eye candy, but as soon as he opens his mouth, it's all over. Boy cannot act to save his life.

When the third installment comes out, you can bet no one will be dragging my ass anywhere near it, free or not.

Let's give this one more try

So you see, I had this blog, and it had these issues, and I was too stupid to figure out how to fix them, and I couldn't stop obsessing over them, so I just said fuck it, and I started this here new blog.

But I still wanted to keep some of my old posts, so I've pasted them in here. Oh, and by the way, down in the very first post, where I talk about having another blog, that's a completely different blog, not the one where these posts came from. You know, just to be clear and all.


March 27, 2003

Cool words of the day: diaphanous, debauchery.

(Editor's note: In case it is not clear, the "cool words of the day" are not provided for any sort of educational purpose. I do not provide definitions, and I do not claim to necessarily know what they mean. You do not need to use them in a sentence. They are here simply because I think they sound cool. That is all.)


March 27, 2003

I had a dream last night where I met Chris Cooper. The weird thing was that, in the dream, my dad knew some director who knew Chris, so somehow, Chris found out I wanted to meet him, and he introduced himself to me. This all took place inside a building that, in the dream, was my old high school, except it didn't look anything like my high school. The weirdest thing was that, for some reason, I was carrying an unexecuted assignment meant for a client, and I was going to ask Chris to autograph it, but I woke up before I could.

I wonder what this all means. Probably that I want to meet Chris Cooper, which I guess I do. That's not weird. Right?


March 26, 2003

Cool words of the day: frou-frou, brou-ha-ha.


March 25, 2003

Macaroni and cheese is one of the many things that, even when it's bad, it's still pretty good. Which is why I decided to buy a box of Kraft's Easy-Mac the other day at the supermarket. I'm a busy girl, you see, so I figured anything that saves me some time in the kitchen is worth trying.

So tonight was my night to try it. I go to read the directions, and I'm struck by the fact that they were written for morons. Like, really, really stupid morons. There was almost this bizzarro effect where I couldn't even understand them.

Then I get it - they're not written for morons, they're written for children. Making Easy-Mac is supposed to be so easy that your kids can make it when you're not there. Except that if your children were really as stupid as the ones these directions are apparently aimed at, they're probably not smart enough to be left alone in the first place. I mean, microwaving mac-and-cheese certainly isn't as dangerous as cooking on the stove, but it's not exactly risk-free, either. Hell, I'm an adult, and I've burned myself using a microwave.

So anyway, my point? If your kids are smart enough to be preparing themselves their own food, they can probably handle reading instructions that read above moron-level. Hear that, marketing people? Feh. No one ever listens to me.


March 25, 2003

Watching Mandy Moore perform "Senses Working Overtime" last night on Kilborn was just wrong. However, in her interview, she actually came off as fairly intelligent and very nice. I say "however" because I am predisposed to hating all teenaged singers. The mere fact that Mandy Moore does not have a completely repellent personality sets her far above all the vapid skanks that seem to pass for musical "talent" these days.


March 25, 2003

If you write it, they will come

I'm getting quite a charge over the fact that random people are actually reading this blog. Of course, for all I know, people click in and out without reading anything - there's no way to tell how much people actually read - but it's still pretty cool.

I'm such a whore.


March 25, 2003

Cool words of the day: penultimate, galavanting, magpie.


March 24, 2003

I can't believe the mom from 90210 is in a TJMaxx ad now. I guess everyone has to make a living, but that seems like a pretty big step down. You'd think that they'd at least play up the fact that she was the mom, or make some reference to the show, or something. I'm sure lots of people recognize her. Hell, I did, and I didn't even watch 90210. No sir, did not.


March 24, 2003

Dealing with customer service is rarely easy or pleasant. I never expect it to be. But it really pisses me off when you ask them questions, and the answers they give you leave out critical pieces of information that you would have liked to have.

What am I talking about, you ask? Well, up until a month ago, I had been paying my cell phone bill each month by credit card. I had to call the automated system and charge it, but sometimes I would forget, and then I would get nasty voicemail messages reminding that I had better pay up. Okay, so they weren't really nasty at all. But it sounds better if they were.

Anyway, last month, I called customer service and asked if there was a way to have them charge my card automatically every month, so I wouldn't have to worry about remembering to pay the bill. The woman I talked to said, why yes, you can. So I said, set it up, and charge the outstanding bill.

Today, I get this month's bill, and there's a $5 "Payment Processing Fee". What the fuck is that all about? I call them up again, and it turns out you get charged $5 every time you make a payment through a live person. Excuse me, what? Why the fuck didn't the woman I talked to about this mention that I would get charged? If she had, of course I would have just called back and gone through the automated system.

I tend to be pretty cynical about things, but I don't think she was trying to rip me off or anything. Still, basic common business sense says that you should train your employees to inform your customers whenever you're going to hit them with any kind of additional charge. It does you no good to piss off your customers.

And that is my Business Lesson of the Day, kids.


March 24, 2003

Check, baby, check, baby, 1, 2, 3, 4

The recent ads for the movie Bringing Down the House reminded me how much I love the song "Rump Shaker". I'm completely serious. It's one of those songs that's so bad, it's good. Kind of like vintage Wham!. And I mean really old Wham!, from before "Wake Me Up, Before You Go-Go". Songs like "Wham! Rap" and "Young Guns (Go For It!)". You think I'm kidding, but I'm so not.


March 23, 2003

I wasn't going to post anymore today, but I'm just sitting here watching the Oscars and eating Fudge Mint Oreos, so I figure I might as well post, since I'm not doing much else. As anyone who knows me well will tell you, I mostly watch the Oscars to see what everyone is wearing. Because there is nothing more entertaining than seeing the rich beautiful people spend thousands of dollars to make themselves look hideous.

So here are some random Oscar thoughts:

Why are so many actresses wearing dresses that are so close to their skin tones? I suppose it's possible that these dresses look good in person, but on TV, they look really washed out. Terrible, frankly.

Jennifer Lopez looked great in mint green, and she wins points for not flashing her boobs, but honestly, what was that thing she was wearing? It looked like a muumuu or something.

Someone get Sean Connery a stylist, STAT.

Catherine Zeta-Jones looked gorgeous, but then, she always does.

Renee Zellweger's sparkly red dress was absolutely stunning.

Julianne Moore looked great in emerald green, but that dress was horribly unflattering on her.

I am so happy Chris Cooper won for Best Supporting Actor. He is such an amazing actor, and totally underappreciated. I haven't actually seen Adaptation (although I still plan to), but I can guarantee that his award is thoroughly deserved. Now if only someone could give him a retroactive Best Actor Oscar for Lone Star, it would make me very happy, indeed.

Why was Geena Davis a presenter? She hasn't done anything of importance in years.

Jennifer Garner needs to stick to hairstyles that don't accentuate the fact that her ears stick out so much.

I wonder how many millions of dollars Kathy Bates had dripping from her ears and draped around her neck. That's what you call diamonds, baby.

Wow. Roman Polanski just won Best Director. Amazing.

And....Chicago just won best picture. Overall, not surprising, but I think it tends to be unusual when different movies win Best Picture and Best Director. That's what I've heard, anyway.

Hey, it hasn't hit midnight yet, and it's actually over! Perhaps I'll have more thoughts tomorrow. Or not. We shall see.


March 23, 2003

If you are wondering about the title of this blog, it comes from the song played in the opening scene of the movie Sliding Doors. I really like the song, and I couldn't think of anything better, so there it is. Actually, I really liked the title of my old blog, what with its multi-leveled irony and all, but alas, it is no more. And don't write me to ask what it was, because I ain't gonna tell ya.

Of course, it was after I set up the blog that I decided to do a Google search of the title, only to find that there is apparently a line dance associated with the aforementioned song. GAAAH! There will be no line dancing in this blog. EVER! But, what can you do? The blog's already named, and I don't want to change it. It's a done deal. At the very least, this post will serve to alert my ever-growing readership that I do not now, nor will I ever, condone line dancing, in any way, shape, or form.


March 22, 2003

I'm back, and the blog has survived to see a second post. I'm still trying to decide what to put in the blog, how often to update it, etc. I doubt it will contain many links, the way so many blogs do. Not to say it won't contain any, but one thing I know is that the point of this blog is definitely not to be a long list of links. If you want links, go read someone else's blog.

Overall, I'm aiming to have this thing be an outlet for my writing. I've never been much of a writer (which may be obvious). In fact, I've always hated it. At some point, though, writing became something that was not a chore, even something that could be enjoyable. My first real attempt at non-school, non-work related writing (i.e., writing done voluntarily, for fun(!)) was to write a bunch of SB episode summaries. They were a lot of fun to do, and damn funny, if I do say so myself. Depending on my mood, and on how much time I have, I still may do more. We'll see.

A big question about this blog is what subject matter it will focus on. It certainly won't be politics or war, or any such subject, at least for the most part. I know what I think and what I believe, but I don't like discussing it. I will state here that I loathe George W. Bush and his ilk with every fiber of my being. That should pretty much tell you where I stand on most things. If you want more political discussion, as with the links, go read someone else's blog.


March 20, 2003

Hey, this is the first post of my blog! Actually, I used to have another blog, but some crazy shit happened (don't ask me what, because I don't know), and the template disappeared, even though the blog is still there, and I can't seem to edit it anymore. Plus, I didn't like the tone it was taking.

So, I started a new blog.

I figured tonight was as good a time as any to do it, because the SB OT forum is down, and my favorite TV shows are getting preempted for All War All The Time Television.

Who knows where this blog will head. That is a great mystery. Perhaps I'll forget about it as soon as I finish, and this will be the only entry. But I don't think so.