June 09, 2005

You know if I leave you now, it doesn't mean that I love you any less

Hey. Hi. How's it goin'?

You might have noticed a serious dearth of posts lately. I've noticed too. But here's the thing. I've always been busy. I've always been sleep-deprived. But now? Things have reached a whole new level. As a direct result, the motivation to expend mental energy on anything other than certain life obligations is rapidly waning. I predict that the circumstances precipitating this state will last, oh, about two months (just a hunch).

And yeah, I know, I should just cut and paste one of the fifty other posts where I've written almost exactly the same thing. Broken record and all that. Whatever. Don't judge me.

Anyway, what this all means for you, the reader, is that it's possible I may not post at all between now and August. But it's also possible I might. I don't know.


June 02, 2005

It's always something

The good news is, I remembered my subway pass today. However, my morning commute still managed to produce a fair amount of cursing.

On the way in this morning, I had to make an extra stop to pick up a bunch of books. For some unknown reason (probably because people enjoy making my life difficult), these books could only be picked up today between 10 and 6. Thanks, it's not like I have A JOB or anything.

Despite the fact that picking up the books should have been a fairly simple task, I managed to get lost on my way there (okay, more like I walked three blocks too far because I missed a street sign, but still, it was annoying), took the subway the wrong way because I wasn't paying attention, forcing me to have to get off and go outside in order to go in the right direction, and nearly died of heat exhaustion because I had no idea it was going to be warm and sunny today, and I was wearing a sweater and lugging 35 pounds of books all over the city and up and down a million flights of stairs because all the escalators were out of service.

So I get into work, and I'm literally dripping with sweat. And within minutes of sitting down at my desk, my boss knocks on my door.

Boss: What's with the suitcase? Are you going somewhere?

Me: (trying to discreetly blot the sweat from my face with a tissue) No...that's for those books I had to pick up this morning.

Boss: Hey, can you come meet this client who came by the office?

Me: Like, right now?

Boss: Yeah, right now.

Me: Are you sure you want me to be meeting clients looking like...this?

Boss: Yeah, don't worry about it! You're fine.

And then he just stood there and laughed at me as I silently repeated to myself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.

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June 01, 2005

How to start your day off right

1. Leave apartment.

2. Realize, halfway to subway stop, that a new month has started, and new month's subway pass is still sitting in apartment.

3. Curse.

4. Decide to pay $1.50 to get on subway, because it would take too long to go back and get subway pass.

5. Check wallet. Realize wallet only contains twenties, which are not accepted by change machine at subway stop.

6. Curse.

7. Decide to stop at coffee shop to buy coffee in order to get change, despite fact that office has coffee for free, in which case coffee should never be paid for, on principle.

8. Buy coffee. Ask clerk for $1.50 in change.

9. Exit coffee shop. See train pulling into stop. Run to stop in order to catch train. Spill coffee on self.

10. Curse.

11. Realize, once at stop, that clerk in fact gave only $1.00 in change, not $1.50. Frantically try to put five-dollar bill in change machine, only to be denied because change machine apparently only accepts brand new bills. Decide, perhaps foolishly, that saving fifteen minutes is not worth handing over entire five-dollar bill.

11. Miss train.

12. Curse.

13. Ask people at stop if anyone has change for a five.

14. Stop after realizing people appear to think you are begging, not asking for an equal exchange.

15. Curse people who won't even bother to check to see if they have change, despite fact that they're just standing around doing nothing.

15. Run over to convenience store. Buy pack of gum. Get another dollar in quarters.

16. Get on train.

17. The end.

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I have never heard of these things before. I must have them.

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