May 28, 2008

Sometimes an ugly scarf is just an ugly scarf

You know, I hate Rachael Ray as much as anyone not named Dweeze, but apparently the right wing assholes (I know, redundant) are forcing me to defend her. I mean, sure, she regularly terrorizes our aesthetic sensibilities, and I know there are a lot of stupid people in this country, but I really doubt anyone's going to mistake her for a terrorist sympathizer. For fuck's sake.

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May 17, 2008

Some things I noticed

I lived in Massachusetts when gay marriage was legalized there. Now I live in California, which, as you likely know, just legalized gay marriage. Clearly this is no coincidence.

Today I am officially announcing that I will, for an appropriate fee, move to your state of choice for the requisite amount of time to legalize gay marriage in that state. I cannot tell you how I do it. All I know is that my methods work.


So you know how I mentioned that girl at my gym who thinks she's Paris Hilton? Holy shit, she has outdone herself.

Normally, it's just about how she looks. She's got the bleach-blonde hair and usually dresses in tight, all-pink clothing, usually short shorts with a word across the ass. She also wears giant sunglasses, lots of jewelry, and sometimes a baseball cap. While working out. Indoors.

Well, my parents were visiting this past weekend, and they went out for a walk around the apartment complex. When they got back, they couldn't wait to tell me about how they'd wandered into the gym, and there was a girl there with two little purse dogs in a stroller. Dogs. IN A STROLLER. That she parked next the treadmill while working out. Yeah. I asked my parents if she looked like a poor man's Paris Hilton, and they said, why yes, she did! I was sure it was the same girl.

And today, I confirmed it - she was there, with the dogs, in the stroller, at the gym. Oh, and did I mention the stroller was hot pink?

Seriously, who does that? Who puts dogs IN A STROLLER? And brings them TO THE GYM?? I mean, I know people in Southern California can be kind of ridiculous, but this on a whole other level.

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May 13, 2008

Shocking revelation from Patriots video scandal

Men like to look at scantily-clad women:

In addition to signals shown on the tape of the Chargers game, the video shot by the Patriots also includes up-close shots of San Diego Charger cheerleaders.

If Roger Goodell were to penalize the Patriots cheerleaders for stealing routines, maybe even suspend them, it wouldn't be a tragedy. I'm just saying.

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May 09, 2008

You should listen to this song

Rustic Overtones - Letter to the President

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May 03, 2008

In the meme time

Okay, so, some author-lady tagged me for this 6 random things meme. Well, then, here ya go:

Six Random Things About Me:

1. My ipod was having issues the other day, so I reset it and reloaded all the music, and now it refuses to shuffle. This irritates me greatly.

2. I have dents in my skull behind both of my ears. About eight months ago, I got a new pair of glasses. The parts that sit on your ears (do they have a name? I don't know) were too tight, to the point where it was painful, but I was too lazy to go get them adjusted. After a while, the tightness seemed to go away, so I figured they had just stretched out a bit, the way new shoes do. Then a few days ago I happened to run my hand over my head while my glasses were off, and I realized there were actual dents in my skull where the ends of the glasses were pushing against it. Seriously. Instead of the glasses stretching out, my head stretched in.

3. At any given time, I have at least 3-5 different kinds of cheese in my refrigerator. Current inventory: shredded cheddar, jarlsberg, crumbled blue, French white cheese (sheep's milk feta), fresh mozzarella, and cottage cheese.

4. There is a girl who I see sometimes at my gym who I'm pretty sure thinks she is Paris Hilton. She always wears a heavy, loose bracelet (I think it's one of those loathsome Tiffany silver tag bracelets) while she works out (although I use the term "working out" loosely, as she just walks on the treadmill - I do not consider an activity working out if you're not sweating and/or breathing heavily, or if you only do it for 10 minutes and then leave because you got a call on your cell phone) that jangles loudly with every step she takes, and it is all I can do not to walk over and punch her in the face. (Well, not really. The idea of me actually punching someone in the face is quite ridiculous. But it is not a stretch to say I have to restrain myself from screaming at her to take the fucking thing off.)

5. As I may or may not have mentioned, one of things I will miss the most if I ever move away from this area is the car-watching. Even if I could afford the kinds of cars people around here drive, I don't think I could ever bring myself to spend that much money on one myself. But that doesn't mean I don't love to look at them. The sight of a Bentley Continental GT makes me all tingly,

although the Jaguar XK may be challenging it as my new favorite fancy car:

Honorable mentions go the Maseratis and Aston-Martins, although they're not nearly as common, so I just don't see or think about them as much. I have to point out, by the way, that the pictures just don't do them justice. They don't look nearly as impressive here as they do in person.

6. I don't like following rules.

The rules:
a. Link to the person who tagged you.
b. Post the rules on your blog.
c. Write six random things about yourself.
d. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
e. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.
f. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

Per no. 6 of my random things, I am ignoring rules (d) and (e), because I just don't like doing that. But of course any of the maybe two or three of you still reading this thing are certainly free to take the meme if you want to.

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