May 02, 2005

Jolene writes letters

Dear My Boss:

PLEASE STOP BUGGING ME. I am working on that project and I will LET YOU KNOW when it's done. Leave me the hell alone.

Love,

Jolene

*****

Dear Lady In The Lobby With The Worst Fashion Sense I Have Ever Seen In A Long Time:

Please dress better. You are hurting my eyes.

Love,

Jolene

*****

Dear Lunch Place In My Building:

Please stop sucking so much. You never have anything I want to eat. And you run out of everthing by 1:00 in the afternoon, so you suck even more. Also, when I ask for "a couple" of pickles, it means two, not one.

Love,

Jolene

*****

Dear Govermental Agency I Have To Deal With:

Please stop having so many damn deadlines.

Love,

Jolene

*****

Dear Subway:

PLEASE STOP FUCKING BREAKING DOWN ALL THE TIME WHEN I'M TRYING TO GET TO WORK. I really don't appreciate having to get off the fucking train, and then being told that fucking shuttle buses are coming, except they never fucking show up, and then I have to walk fifteen fucking minutes outside to get to the next fucking stop where the fucking trains aren't broken down anymore, making me late and also all sweaty. And also, I'm sure all the people waiting at the stop where you made us get off the train really appreciated the fact that no one told them the train was broken down, despite the fact that there were about ten transit authority guys milling around doing nothing, AND despite the fact that everyone was already GETTING OFF THE TRAIN. Good work, geniuses. And they wonder why more people don't take the subway.

And now I've been in a fucking bad mood all day and it's all your fucking fault.

Love,

Jolene

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16 comments:

On 7/30/2005 11:24 AM, Anonymous Gothmog said:

Dear Jolene:

Maybe you shouldn't depend on a sandwich chain for your transportation to work. Just sayin.

Love,

gothmog

05.02.05 - 3:03 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:25 AM, Blogger Jolene said:

Dear GothMog:

Can't you see I'm trying to be in a bad mood here? Please stop making me laugh.

Love,

Jolene

05.02.05 - 3:08 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:26 AM, Anonymous ExI said:

Dear Jolene:

The lady in the lobby could be worse. She could be wearing this:

http://www.jcrew.com/catalog/pro...jhtml? id=prod68 981741&catId=cat70906

Love,

ExI

05.02.05 - 3:59 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:26 AM, Anonymous ExI said:

Dear Haloscan Comments:

Please do not cut off my links in the middle. This makes people have to paste in the second half of the link to their address bar. And that isn't user friendly.

Love,

ExI

05.02.05 - 4:00 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:27 AM, Blogger Jolene said:

Dear ExI:

It still doesn't work. Looks like it cut something out of the middle. I think you have to do it in HTML like this (remove spaces inside the brackets):

< a href=http://website.address.goes.here>Words Go Here< /a >

:)

Love,

 
On 7/30/2005 11:29 AM, Anonymous ExI said:

Dear Jolene:

For you? I fix the link. Try this.

Love,

ExI

05.02.05 - 4:15 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:30 AM, Anonymous ExI said:

Dear Stupid Fucking HTML:

Why don't you recognize spaces in your linking?

OK, the problem is that the link itself has a space. I don't think it's going to work. Try pasting the second half of the link from above with a space between the two. That should work. Hopefully.

Love,

ExI

05.02.05 - 4:17 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:32 AM, Anonymous ExI said:

Or try this. If this doesn't work, I'm officially pissed off at hmtl and myself. Grr....

05.02.05 - 4:20 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:33 AM, Blogger Jolene said:

Dear ExI:

Um, still doesn't work. I was talking about where the ellipsis is - I think sometimes it cuts out stuff if it's too long.

Say the following in Kramer Movie-Phone voice:

Whey don't you just tell me what you want me to look at? :)

Love,

Jolene

05.02.05 - 4:23 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:34 AM, Blogger Jolene said:

Dear ExI:

Okay, that worked. (Ignore the last message - I posted before I saw the one right before.

Dear J Crew guy:

You should think about getting a new jacket. But I still think the lady in the lobby was worse.

Love,

Jolene

05.02.05 - 4:25 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:35 AM, Anonymous ExI said:

Dear Jolene:

She was wearing worse? Ouch. All that linking and html trouble for naught. But at least I managed to inflate your comment number. ;)

Love,

ExI

05.02.05 - 4:28 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:35 AM, Blogger Jolene said:

Dear ExI:

My ego thanks you.

Love,

Jolene

05.02.05 - 4:30 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:36 AM, Anonymous Dweeze said:

Dear Anyone:

I fail to see my name in any of these comments.

Love,

Dweeze

05.03.05 - 11:00 am

 
On 7/30/2005 11:37 AM, Blogger Jolene said:

Dear Dweeze:

You needed to dress badly if you wanted to be mentioned in these comments.

Love,

Jolene

05.03.05 - 2:31 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:37 AM, Anonymous Blue said:

Can I just butt in here, and address a quick one to The Jol Person?

Love your work.

LOVE YOUR FUCKING WORK, DAHLINK!

05.06.05 - 7:48 pm

 
On 7/30/2005 11:38 AM, Blogger Jolene said:

Wow, thanks! :)

05.07.05 - 12:41 pm

 

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