February 28, 2005

Oscars Post-Mortem

Okay, so as promised, here are my thoughts on the show last night: Eh.

Oh, you want more than that? Fine.

Seriously, it was boring, overall. Like I said, I hadn't seen most of the movies that were nominated, so I didn't have much invested in the awards themselves. Given that, I'm happy Million Dollar Baby won big, because if nothing else, it will torque the right-wing religious nuts, and that is always a good thing. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, you either will have to see the movie, or read a review that spoils it, because I'm not going to do that here.) Still, I doubt I'll ever have much desire to see it myself, because I really, really hate boxing. And yes, I know that's not what it's really about, but I don't care. It's about boxing. And I hate boxing (why is a story for another time).

I enjoyed Chris Rock's opening monologue, although I take issue with his dissing of Jude Law, because Jude is so very, very pretty. Please leave the pretty man alone. Anyway, I don't usually watch the Oscars for the host. To me, Oscars hosts are like film editors and offensive linemen - you should only notice them if they screw up. If you don't notice them, it means they did their job. I think Chris Rock did a fine job.

I hated the new thing where they gave some awards in the audience, and for others, had all the nominees up on stage. Did it really save so much time that it was worth making the "minor" nominees suffer such indignity? There is so much other filler they could have cut out. Or god forbid they should just start the telecast an hour or two earlier, so it doesn't end so late on the East Coast.

Definitely had way too much Beyoncé. I even had a minor medical emergency when my ears started bleeding after hearing her sing in French. So, so wrong.

Unfortunately, I really didn't get to do much of what I like best, which is looking at the outfits. With no cable, I couldn't watch any pre-show coverage, and the bad reception really limited how well I could see the gowns. From what I could see, I absolutely hated Hillary Swank's dress. It looked like it was about to choke her. And I really didn't get Renée Zellweger's dress - she couldn't even walk in it. I was cringing as she tried to walk across the stage. In general, I really hate the "mermaid" style that is obviously so popular now. And her hair - ick. She looks awful with dark hair. As I've said before, I'm not opposed to hair coloring on principle, but it has to look natural. Hers did not. Nor did Scarlett Johansson's or Kirsten Dunst's - both of them were way over-bleached (although Kirsten's almost looked like a wig, which is even worse).

I don't know, that's about it, I guess. I think I've already forgotten 80% of what I was thinking of commenting on. But hey, you get what you pay for here.

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