Two things that may or may not be a coincidence

Monday night, I saw a Very Hot Doctor in the laundry room.

Tuesday night, I went to the gym for the first time in months and ran four miles.

Ugrh

I hate falling asleep when I don't mean to. Last night, I feel asleep watching TV. At first, I thought I had only missed ER, but then this morning I realized I had also missed The Office. Fell asleep a few minutes past 9, woke up two hours later. I really wanted to watch The Office, too. The commercials seemed funny, and I read a review that said it was at least better than all the other sitcoms on TV right now (not a ringing endorsement, but still promising). I wasn't sure if the show would be any good, but I at least wanted to give it a shot. Normally I wouldn't care that I missed ER - it's sucked for years, but I still keep watching it out of habit. But yesterday? Sharif Atkins came back. He was one of the few good reasons to watch. And apparently he did the deed with Neela, which means he probably took his shirt off, which...anyway.

I really do have a problem with this falling alseep thing. It happens in cars a lot. I've missed my stop on the subway because I fell asleep. I fall asleep watching TV and movies all the time. It happened when I watched High Fidelity. It's happened twice with the Usual Suspects - I still have never seen it in its entirety. The worst was The Crying Game, when I fell asleep IN THE THEATER. Know when I woke up? Right after The Big Reveal, because of all the noise from the crowd. We had this Japanese guy with us who didn't speak very much English, and after the movie, he was all, can someone please explain that movie to me? And I was all, um, I fell asleep. And this other guy was like, dude, just see it with subtitles when you go back to Japan.

Speaking of movies, I am thinking of temporarily quitting Netflix. This pains me so, because I love seeing the red envelopes in the mailbox. But the next four months of my life are going to be kind of hellishly busy, and I know I can't afford to be watching movies. So sad. Goodbye, movies.

A little of this, a little of that

So I'm in the middle of a little busy period right now. Original content will have to wait. But since I know my rabid fanbase is clamoring for something, anything, new, I've looked over the internet and - get ready for this (I'm getting giddy just thinking about it) - the actual print media, for interesting tidbits with which to entertain you. And here is what I've found so far.

First, we find the best comment ever, in response to the news that Bridget Moynahan has mysteriously turned into a drag queen:

If that is what having a lot of sex with Tom Brady does to a girl, well, I would still have a lot of sex with Tom Brady.

Sing it, sister.

Elsewhere, It's the Most Whatever Time of the Year at World O'Crap, where we find this wonderful bit o'snark (and we do know how much I love the snark, yes we do) in the comments, which I am reprinting in its entirety, because it's just that good:

Let me tell you about MY Christmas plans.

My wife and I were going to send Christmas cards, but since homosexuals can send Christmas cards, it has totally devalued the institution of sending Christmas cards, so my wife and I are not going to take part.

Then we were going to go shop at the mall, but since homosexuals can shop at the mall, it has totally devalued the institution of shopping at the mall, so my wife and I are not going to take part.

Then we were going to put up a Christmas tree, but since homosexuals can also put up Christmas trees, it has totally devalued the institution of putting up Christmas trees, so my wife and I are not going to take part.

The problem is that those damn homosexuals have completely spoiled Christmas! So my wife and I finally decided to celebrate by joining one of those groups that go around with the placards that say "God hates fags".

We think this is how Jesus wants us to celebrate His birthday.

Halitosis, brother!

I'm not really sure what that last line means, but otherwise, there's really not much more that I can add to it.

Finally, I was flipping through my hometown newspaper recently and came across an article with the following actual, real headline:

Why is death considered a subject that always ruins festive party moods?

You got me. I have no idea.

I was flipping through the TV channels tonight and noticed this show that featured Russell Wong. Which meant, of course, that I had to stop and see what it was, because Russell Wong is hot. Very, very hot. Except I was disappointed to find that he is now a bit chubby. Seems Mr. Wong has put on a few pounds. He now just looks like your average, doughy, middle-aged guy.

The show, by the way, was called "Black Sash," and it was not something I'll be watching again, despite Wong's presence. It was generally dreadful, but I found it particularly strange that they had an all-Asian girl playing Wong's daughter, given the fact that the actress playing her mother was white, and Wong is, in real life, only half-Chinese.