December 13, 2004

A little of this, a little of that

So I'm in the middle of a little busy period right now. Original content will have to wait. But since I know my rabid fanbase is clamoring for something, anything, new, I've looked over the internet and - get ready for this (I'm getting giddy just thinking about it) - the actual print media, for interesting tidbits with which to entertain you. And here is what I've found so far.

First, we find the best comment ever, in response to the news that Bridget Moynahan has mysteriously turned into a drag queen:

If that is what having a lot of sex with Tom Brady does to a girl, well, I would still have a lot of sex with Tom Brady.

Sing it, sister.

Elsewhere, It's the Most Whatever Time of the Year at World O'Crap, where we find this wonderful bit o'snark (and we do know how much I love the snark, yes we do) in the comments, which I am reprinting in its entirety, because it's just that good:

Let me tell you about MY Christmas plans.

My wife and I were going to send Christmas cards, but since homosexuals can send Christmas cards, it has totally devalued the institution of sending Christmas cards, so my wife and I are not going to take part.

Then we were going to go shop at the mall, but since homosexuals can shop at the mall, it has totally devalued the institution of shopping at the mall, so my wife and I are not going to take part.

Then we were going to put up a Christmas tree, but since homosexuals can also put up Christmas trees, it has totally devalued the institution of putting up Christmas trees, so my wife and I are not going to take part.

The problem is that those damn homosexuals have completely spoiled Christmas! So my wife and I finally decided to celebrate by joining one of those groups that go around with the placards that say "God hates fags".

We think this is how Jesus wants us to celebrate His birthday.

Halitosis, brother!


I'm not really sure what that last line means, but otherwise, there's really not much more that I can add to it.

Finally, I was flipping through my hometown newspaper recently and came across an article with the following actual, real headline:

Why is death considered a subject that always ruins festive party moods?

You got me. I have no idea.

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