I lived in Massachusetts when gay marriage was legalized there. Now I live in California, which, as you likely know, just legalized gay marriage. Clearly this is no coincidence.
Today I am officially announcing that I will, for an appropriate fee, move to your state of choice for the requisite amount of time to legalize gay marriage in that state. I cannot tell you how I do it. All I know is that my methods work.
So you know how I mentioned that girl at my gym who thinks she's Paris Hilton
? Holy shit, she has outdone herself.
Normally, it's just about how she looks. She's got the bleach-blonde hair and usually dresses in tight, all-pink clothing, usually short shorts with a word across the ass. She also wears giant sunglasses, lots of jewelry, and sometimes a baseball cap. While working out. Indoors.
Well, my parents were visiting this past weekend, and they went out for a walk around the apartment complex. When they got back, they couldn't wait to tell me about how they'd wandered into the gym, and there was a girl there with two little purse dogs in a stroller. Dogs. IN A STROLLER. That she parked next the treadmill while working out. Yeah. I asked my parents if she looked like a poor man's Paris Hilton, and they said, why yes, she did! I was sure it was the same girl.
And today, I confirmed it - she was there, with the dogs, in the stroller, at the gym. Oh, and did I mention the stroller was hot pink?
Seriously, who does that? Who puts dogs IN A STROLLER? And brings them TO THE GYM?? I mean, I know people in Southern California can be kind of ridiculous, but this on a whole other level.
Labels: animals, gay marriage, people who think they're paris hilton, things that are fucking ridiculous