Conversations with my parents

...or,

Who are you and what have you done with my mother, part the second

Last week:

My mom: (fangirl voice) Guess who I saw at the gym the other day!

Me: Uh, [D-list celeb who I went to high school with]?

My mom: Yes! How'd you know?

Me: Well, who else would it be? Do you know of any other celebrites likely to be hanging out around town?

My mom: Well, I think it was him, anyway. I only saw him from far away. Do you think I should have gone over and said 'hi'?

Me: I don't know. That probably would have been a little weird, seeing as how you don't actually know him.

My mom: Yeah.

*****

Yesterday:

My mom: So remember how I told you how I thought I saw [D-list celeb who you went to high school with] last week? It was definitely him!

Me: What, did you see him again or something?

My mom: No. I googled him. He was wearing this t-shirt with a slogan for [obscure organization] when I saw him, and the bios I read said he was involved with that organization.

Me: Haha! Mom, you're totally an internet stalker!

My mom: Hahahaha!

Me: Anyway, I'm sure it must have been him. He's pretty unmistakable.

My mom: Did you know there are all these websites devoted to him? Where people post pictures of him and talk about what he's doing and how cute he is?

Me: I'm not surprised. People do that on the internet.

My mom: Don't worry, I won't be posting on them or anything.

Me: Lord, I should hope not.

My mom: Maybe I'll take up knitting again and go join his mom's knitting group.

Me: Oh. My. God.

My mom: Kidding! Ha ha!

Me: Erm, can I talk to Dad?

*****

My dad: Yo yo yo, wassup? (Okay, he didn't actually say that, but I like imagining that he did.)

Me: Hey, guess what I'm doing when I go to Seattle over New Year's?

My dad: Going to a Sonics game?

Me: No. I hate basketball, remember?

My dad: Right. Um, going to a Seahawks game?

Me: Ding, ding, ding! I think we are in the last row of the upper deck. Hopefully we won't get blown over the edge.

My dad: (starting to get angry) Do you realize the Seahawks are are going make the playoffs????

My: Yeah, I knew that. I just hope they don't clinch the division next week, which I think may be possible, because I want the last game to matter, so it's more interesting.

My dad: But a .500 team making the playoffs??? THAT IS AN OUTRAGE!

Me: Well, that's the way it is. What are you gonna do?

My dad: But aren't you OUTRAGED???

Me: I don't know. I suppose. Actually, I think it's kind of amusing. Anyway, our team will make it, so who cares, right?

My dad: Yeah, I guess. Whatever.

Me: Whatever.