Conversations with my parents
Who are you and what have you done with my mother, part the second
My mom: (fangirl voice) Guess who I saw at the gym the other day!
Me: Uh, [D-list celeb who I went to high school with]?
My mom: Yes! How'd you know?
Me: Well, who else would it be? Do you know of any other celebrites likely to be hanging out around town?
My mom: Well, I think it was him, anyway. I only saw him from far away. Do you think I should have gone over and said 'hi'?
Me: I don't know. That probably would have been a little weird, seeing as how you don't actually know him.
My mom: Yeah.
My mom: So remember how I told you how I thought I saw [D-list celeb who you went to high school with] last week? It was definitely him!
Me: What, did you see him again or something?
My mom: No. I googled him. He was wearing this t-shirt with a slogan for [obscure organization] when I saw him, and the bios I read said he was involved with that organization.
Me: Haha! Mom, you're totally an internet stalker!
My mom: Hahahaha!
Me: Anyway, I'm sure it must have been him. He's pretty unmistakable.
My mom: Did you know there are all these websites devoted to him? Where people post pictures of him and talk about what he's doing and how cute he is?
Me: I'm not surprised. People do that on the internet.
My mom: Don't worry, I won't be posting on them or anything.
Me: Lord, I should hope not.
My mom: Maybe I'll take up knitting again and go join his mom's knitting group.
Me: Oh. My. God.
My mom: Kidding! Ha ha!
Me: Erm, can I talk to Dad?
My dad: Yo yo yo, wassup? (Okay, he didn't actually say that, but I like imagining that he did.)
Me: Hey, guess what I'm doing when I go to Seattle over New Year's?
My dad: Going to a Sonics game?
Me: No. I hate basketball, remember?
My dad: Right. Um, going to a Seahawks game?
Me: Ding, ding, ding! I think we are in the last row of the upper deck. Hopefully we won't get blown over the edge.
My dad: (starting to get angry) Do you realize the Seahawks are are going make the playoffs????
My: Yeah, I knew that. I just hope they don't clinch the division next week, which I think may be possible, because I want the last game to matter, so it's more interesting.
My dad: But a .500 team making the playoffs??? THAT IS AN OUTRAGE!
Me: Well, that's the way it is. What are you gonna do?
My dad: But aren't you OUTRAGED???
Me: I don't know. I suppose. Actually, I think it's kind of amusing. Anyway, our team will make it, so who cares, right?
My dad: Yeah, I guess. Whatever.