I wonder if I can use this as an excuse to go home early

I hear there's been an uncorroborated report that a bunch of terrorists are planning to attack my city today*. But I'm sure we'll be okay. After all, we have the glorious and exalted George W. Fucking Bush to protect us. He said he would. He wouldn't lie, right?

*Update: Perhaps not today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe some other day. Maybe never. Who knows.