This is where the title would go if I could think of anything appropriate
It's not that I don't feel like writing anything. It's just that I've wanted to write something about the hurricane and its aftermath, but I just don't know how do it. I finally went to go edit some links and realized, since I had Blogger open, that I really should just make myself write something. I kind of feel like George Bush over here, what with the taking a week to actually have some sort of response (well, except for the part where I'm not a certifiable moron, or falsely pious, or morally bankrupt, or corrupt, or the part where my not posting on a fucking blog doesn't actually get anyone killed; but otherwise I'm just like him).
I've felt quite detached from the whole thing, actually. I sit and watch the endless coverage of the devastation and the suffering, and I feel the normal range of emotions - awe, sadness, disbelief, outrage (well, that last one is normal for people who have souls; clearly, there are still, amazingly, people who think the government is doing a swell job, and we should stop being so mean to George because it hurts his feelings). But I don't have any personal connection to what's happened. I don't know anyone who lives there. I've never been anywhere near any of the affected areas. The only thing that has any remotely personal meaning to me is probably the Superdome, as it was the site of my football team's first three Super Bowls, and their first win. In a sad bit of irony, that last one was in 2001 (actually, 2002, but it was for the 2001 season), and they had 9/11 tributes before the game and at halftime. Now, rather than paying tribute, it is New Orleans that has been destroyed.
I cried for the first time two days ago. I am not normally much of a crier. The grief and the anger, the self-absorbed self-pity over feeling like such a crappy person (I mean, how crass does the title of my blog look right now?), it had all built up over the week, and then "The King of New Orleans" came up randomly on the iTunes, and I completely lost it. Like, prolonged, heaving, full-on bawling. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to lose everything you own. Or to lose everything and then feel like you've been abandoned by the people who are supposed to protect you. I don't think I could handle it, I really don't.
And on that note, I am going to stop now because I am getting too depressed, and I am rambling, and that is never a good combination.
Labels: natural disasters