September 06, 2005

This is where the title would go if I could think of anything appropriate

It's not that I don't feel like writing anything. It's just that I've wanted to write something about the hurricane and its aftermath, but I just don't know how do it. I finally went to go edit some links and realized, since I had Blogger open, that I really should just make myself write something. I kind of feel like George Bush over here, what with the taking a week to actually have some sort of response (well, except for the part where I'm not a certifiable moron, or falsely pious, or morally bankrupt, or corrupt, or the part where my not posting on a fucking blog doesn't actually get anyone killed; but otherwise I'm just like him).

I've felt quite detached from the whole thing, actually. I sit and watch the endless coverage of the devastation and the suffering, and I feel the normal range of emotions - awe, sadness, disbelief, outrage (well, that last one is normal for people who have souls; clearly, there are still, amazingly, people who think the government is doing a swell job, and we should stop being so mean to George because it hurts his feelings). But I don't have any personal connection to what's happened. I don't know anyone who lives there. I've never been anywhere near any of the affected areas. The only thing that has any remotely personal meaning to me is probably the Superdome, as it was the site of my football team's first three Super Bowls, and their first win. In a sad bit of irony, that last one was in 2001 (actually, 2002, but it was for the 2001 season), and they had 9/11 tributes before the game and at halftime. Now, rather than paying tribute, it is New Orleans that has been destroyed.

I cried for the first time two days ago. I am not normally much of a crier. The grief and the anger, the self-absorbed self-pity over feeling like such a crappy person (I mean, how crass does the title of my blog look right now?), it had all built up over the week, and then "The King of New Orleans" came up randomly on the iTunes, and I completely lost it. Like, prolonged, heaving, full-on bawling. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to lose everything you own. Or to lose everything and then feel like you've been abandoned by the people who are supposed to protect you. I don't think I could handle it, I really don't.

And on that note, I am going to stop now because I am getting too depressed, and I am rambling, and that is never a good combination.

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6 comments:

On 9/06/2005 9:09 AM, Blogger Immunegirl said:

J...I know how you're feeling. I wrote a long post about the hurricane and then deleted it, because I didn't think it was appropriate. (Why, I don't know.) I feel very disconnected from the whole thing and I am struggling to figure out what to make of it all. I know that I couldn't handle losing everything and being totally on my own. So....you aren't the only one. ((hugs))

 
On 9/07/2005 12:02 AM, Blogger gothmog said:

Jo? You and Iggy are good peeps. Because you have souls.

 
On 9/08/2005 12:31 PM, Blogger Dweeze said:

Soles, too

 
On 9/09/2005 1:29 AM, Blogger Jolene said:

Indeed. I do have soles. But I'm not a rich girl. I don't have diamonds on the soles of my shoes.

 
On 9/09/2005 10:54 AM, Blogger Dweeze said:

Don't look at me. I'm a poor boy, empty as a socket. Empty as a socket with nothing to lose.

 
On 9/20/2005 6:56 PM, Blogger Monstah said:

You know what? I purposely stayed in my baby bubble because I could not stomach the images of mothers carrying their childern in infected, hip high water.

I am trying to figure out how to help the children who are missing since the hurricane. I have started at missingkids.com. What horror and sadness.

And a big hug to you my friend.

 

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