JESUS FUCK ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMNED FIRES ALREADY
So of course it would have to come to pass that right after I finally decide to go ahead and buy a place here in California, we start up with the apocalyptic firestorms again.
Friend: Hi! Are you okay?
(For a brief moment, I was confused, trying to figure out how she knew that only minutes before, I'd tripped in the dark after walking in the door, and fell with all my weight onto the handle of my rolling backpack. My current non-expert opinion is that I'm certain I broke at least one rib.)
Friend: The fire!
Me: Oh yeah, I heard about that, but it's way up in the valley, isn't it?
Friend: No, I heard there was one in your neighborhood!
Me: (WHAT?!?!) Um, what?
Friend: I was driving, and they said on the radio there was a wildfire in your neighborhood!
Me: Huh. That's strange, because I just went to the supermarket and didn't smell anything in the air.
Friend: Oh, that's good. I heard they were evacuating people. Glad you're okay.
And then I checked online, and sure enough there was a 100-acre wildfire in a canyon about a mile from my apartment, which they thankfully got under control before I even knew it had happened. But seriously, enough with the fucking fires already. I'm really tired of this shit.