Today, something possessed me to look at one of my old high school yearbooks, and once I started, I couldn't stop until I'd read through all four years.
Presented now for your reading pleasure are the following quotes, totally verbatim (except for a few egregious grammatical and spelling errors I could not abide), written by my friends. (Technically, these quotes span all four years of high school, but actually, none came from sophomore year, because for some reason, no one signed my sophomore yearbook. I can't remember why, but I like to think it was because I lost all my friends that year, then gained them all back junior year. Or maybe they just didn't issue the yearbooks till after school was over. I don't know.)
Each one is from a different entry and taken completely out of context.
La lune est pleine, oui?
YEAH DUDES! DUDETTES!!! YEAH!
Eat lots of spinach.
I would love to tell you have a nice summer and I'll see you next year but 50 years from now, you won't care.
Thanks for just being around.
That's one of my better skills - just being around.
I don't have your clip right now. Actually, I've lent it to Molly to wear to the prom. She'll give it back soon though. Someday you'll get it back.
And the next year, she wrote:
I still owe you a barrette!
It's pretty amazing that she had enough awareness to remember it a year later, yet not enough to remember to give it back to me in the intervening year.
I'm a sadist so unless you're a masochist, I guess we're not compatible.
I'M FEELING SO HYPER!
The true effect of this can only be appreciated if you imagine it surrounded by all sorts of crazy scribbles. It was no accident that her nickname was Spazz.
Why do I always get middle-aged ladies?
Ed and I will probably be calling your brother this summer.
Of all the things people wrote, this is the most bafflingly nonsensical. I cannot for the life of me remember, nor can I conceive of any possible scenario, where those two would have any reason to call either one of my brothers. I mean, they were a seventh-grader and a six-year-old at the time, and suddenly I'm feeling like my friends are creepy predators that I need to protect my brothers from, nevermind that they are adults now and it is not actually happening in the present.
You are a nice person to sit in front of.
I hope Avery Ashdown lives in your heart for as long as he will in mine.
I hope I don't get pizza on your yearbook.
As DJO would say, "Do me Wednesday."
Keep on cradling!
And stay off the chowder.
I've only seen you hysterical twice in my life - that time when we put the hairball in the telephone at field hockey camp and the time I put the orange behind my knee at lunch to hide it from Jeremy and you saw it and we both went crazy.
Oh look, let's see if the flower burns!
PULL YOUR PRINT OUT BEFORE YOU PULL THE BLADE BACK!
Have fun at Harvard!
Clearly not a close friend.
...Twister at midnight with half the guys naked...
This occurred during an overnight college visit with this friend, and my mother only found out about it because she is nosy and read my yearbook, and boy, is it ever fun trying to explain to your excessively prudish mother why your friend wrote in your yearbook that you were playing Twister with naked college guys.
But let's get something clear. It was not half the guys. It was one guy (name of Grant, native of Canada, and kind of scary and kind of sad that I still remember that). And he wasn't so much naked as he was wearing a very loose pair of boxers, which, as you might imagine, are not the best attire for playing Twister. But to our innocent, high-school-aged minds, even the slightest glimpse of an actual, real-live penis qualified as "naked."
Your presence only added to that tingling.
"Nervy" is a state of near drunkenness caused by apprehension or giddiness, though considering what a drunkard you are, this is probably a perpetual state for you, right?
Don't forget the important grammar lessons! Or the leather pants!
That's it, kids! I'm off to Mexico on Saturday. See y'all in a week!