October 13, 2005

My cat has dreadlocks

No really, he does. Although that may be just a polite way of saying he has, um, a grooming problem. I really don't know what's brought this on. I know long-haired cats often have issues with their fur, but I've had him for over five years, and only once in that time can I ever remember noticing any mats. At first I thought maybe he'd somehow managed to knock something sticky on himself, but I can't find anything spilled anywhere, so I don't think that's it.

Brushing isn't helping, at least not after the fact. So I tried to cut the mats off with scissors, but I only managed to get a few of them before he decided he'd rather claw my face off instead. He quickly learned to disappear as soon as the scissors appeared. But seriously, what the fuck, cat? It's just fur, for god's sake. He reacted like I was trying to cut off his leg or something. This, from the same cat who allows me to regularly clip his claws without registering anything more than mild annoyance.


(See, Dweeze, when you demand that I write more, this is what you get. A story about my cat. Be careful what you wish for, is what they always say, right? And I don't know why Gothmog wants to live vicariously through me. Dood. My life is more boring than just about anything. I'm not joking.)

But anyway, not that this is much of an excuse for going as long as I did without posting, but I did at least spend a substantial part of that time devoting my creative energies to a written piece at...some other site that I decline to name because I have this stupid neurotic obsession with keeping my identities in different spheres of the world and the internet separate, even though everyone knows and no one really cares and it's not like it's a big state secret or anything. Yeah.

So. I've been watching some TV lately. That's exciting, right? Right? Actually, I've been watching less now that baseball is over. What's that you say, it's not over yet? Okay, fine, it's over for my team. But as I've mentioned many, many times before, I'm quite provincial, and I don't have much of an interest in watching once my team is out. Especially not if it means having to subject myself to more of the wretched Fox coverage and the rage-inducing play-by-play stylings of Buck and McCarver.

One thing I have been watching, among other things, is Lost. Apparently a lot of people really, really like Lost. And okay, it's a pretty good show, and I've watched it from the beginning, so I'm not saying it's bad or anything. But I have some complaints.

First of all, I feel like they pulled a bait-and-switch. The show was originally billed as a plane-crash-on-a-deserted-island-castaway-type show. And then they go and pull all this sci-fi shit on us. As I may have stated before, I hate science fiction. I can tolerate a little bit if the show is good enough and it doesn't overwhelm things (see: Alias), but as a general rule, I prefer my entertainment science fiction-free. I know that without all the supernatural stuff, there'd be no show, because there's only so much people stranded on an island can do, but still, I'm just saying.

I hate the fact that there's a character named Charlie and it's not Matthew Fox. It's confusing to me. He will always be Charlie Salinger to me (oh yes, I just admitted to watching Party of Five. Wanna make something of it?), so it bugs me when someone says "Charlie" and they're not talking about him.

They're on a flight from Australia to the U.S. But there's only one Australian person on the plane? (Or, if you want to quibble, only one Australian person among all the survivors?) Yeah, that makes sense.

And here is my biggest problem: haven't any of these people ever read the book Alive? And no, I'm not suggesting that Lost needs an infusion of cannibalism. While that might certainly be dramatic, I'm not sure ABC would go for it. What I am saying is why don't these people get off their asses and explore the fuck out of every inch of that island? If you remember the story in Alive, after many weeks (months? I can't remember), they finally realized no one was ever going to rescue them, and a few of them set off to find help, and they found civilization not very far away. The whole time they were eating their friends, they could have been rescued if they'd just gone looking sooner.

So why haven't the characters on Lost devoted any real energy towards looking for help or civilization or something, anything? Sure, there have been bits and pieces here and there, but nothing major. Obviously the island is worth exploring because they keep discovering things like hatches and crazy French women and boats full of dynamite and planes full of heroin. How do they really know what really is or isn't on the island, or if it's even really an island, if they don't go poking around in some sort of organized fashion?

Or at least, why don't the writers pay the idea some basic lip service, and at least have the characters sit around and discuss it, just so they can say why it's not possible, or at the very least, not desirable. (I am willing to grant that they may have done this at some point, because I don't tend to pay attention to things very closely, since I rarely watch TV without also doing something else at the same time, but even if they did, they still haven't taken the idea seriously at all.)

I just don't get it. If I'm stranded on an island, the first thing I'm doing is wandering around as much as is physically possible to see what I've got there. I can't tell you how much this irritates me.

Finally, does anyone else besides me think that the father from the Schroeder family on The Amazing Race looks just like Jim Mora, Jr.?

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On 10/13/2005 8:18 AM, Blogger Buggy said:

Does the cat respond to reggae? He may have been working hard on those dreads, only to have you come along and snip them off.

The Charlie thing only bothered me for the first few episodes.
But I saw Ghost Whisperer last week, and who the hell is that guy she's kissing? Where is Bailey? Does Bailey know about this new guy?

I think the scary sci-fi stuff is keeping them from exploring
Oh and about Alive, I'm not sure the tail-end passengers are vegitarians.

I like when you update, Jo!

On 10/14/2005 1:11 PM, Blogger Dweeze said:

You're just dying for me to make the obvious joke, aren't you?

On 10/14/2005 6:47 PM, Blogger Jolene said:

Okay, it took me a while to figure out what you were talking about, Dweeze (you should know better than to assume that I can see the obvious things), but I think I know now.

Is it... "clones"? :)

And Buggy, I haven't heard any reggae, but I did catch him trying to roll some catnip joints. Curious.

On 10/14/2005 10:52 PM, Blogger gothmog said:

Ok, I was with you with the cat thing, but for the rest of that post? I got Lost.

On 10/14/2005 11:14 PM, Blogger Jolene said:


Good thing I borrowed this 2X4 from Landru. Never know when you're gonna need it. :)

On 10/16/2005 3:23 PM, Blogger Kimmah said:

I'm going to be the last person alive to watch Lost. I've got no interest in it a show that has a mystery pit where people go and that has a monster or some such nonsense. I've taught Lord of the Flies for years and even those little boys knew that the first damn thing you do is explore the effing island.

I agree with all of your points. I hate shows that don't follow basic good sense, so I will skip this one and add it to the list of uber popular shows that I never saw or never cared for: Twin Peaks, Married With Children, X Files, The Simpsons, Desperate Housewives and now Lost.

On 10/17/2005 12:31 AM, Blogger Jolene said:

Ha! Except for Lost, I've never watched any of those shows either. I tried Desperate Housewives when it first started, but I couldn't watch more than a few episodes. Totally stupid and boring.

On 10/22/2005 7:31 PM, Blogger Wheeze said:

Dood. I forgive you.

The main reason I like LOST? Is because of characterization and backstory. Yes, parts are unbelievable. I'm okay with that.

But if the writers of the show don't figure out soon where they're going with this, I'm gonna get crabby.

Oh, Claire is Australian too. So that's two of 'em. An' shay's a ripe Sheila!

On 10/23/2005 9:19 PM, Blogger Jolene said:

Yeah, Claire is who I was thinking of. Who's the other one?

On 11/11/2005 11:05 PM, Blogger Pam said:

I had the same matting issues with Snuffles. Finding a place that grooms cats was nearly impossible, and uber expensive. (plus, the thought of having her shaved made me shudder)

Snuffles balked at the scissors at first, but I was patient, and snipped a little bit at a time. I finally got the big mats and now she just hops on my lap and lets me check for clumps and cut them off. Once you get rid of the painful mats, your kitty will feel so much better that she/he will come back for more. Just be patient.

Good Luck!

On 11/11/2005 11:08 PM, Blogger Pam said:

About Lost...

They're hesitant (and that's putting it mildly) to explore too much because there is a big, scary, killer monster out there attacking people.


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